Sad and stupid

Sad...
because the next week or so will be really busy with going out of town to Calif., and work, work, work and I won't have much time to work on Trading Faces.

Stupid...
because I keep spending all my precious writing time blogging or reading other people's blogs and commenting. But, but, but...it's so much FUN!!!

I am writing, though, when I blog. And, don't they say that the more you write, the more you write? I am finding that very true. The more I blog, the more I get written overall. It's like it just keeps the mind fine-tuned, and more observant. I notice things more, somehow.

Shew...I feel much better now.

Elevator speech aka 5 second synopsis

I had my first "read and critique" sessions tonight for Trading Faces (don't panic, ladies, it's just a working title!!) with my 8 and 12-year-old girls and my 66-year-old mom. I figured I'd go ahead and get both ends of the spectrum right off.

Mom was tough. I knew she would be, so I gave her all kinds of instructions before I even handed it to her. I told her she had to give me the Toastmaster's Oreo Critique, aka Sandwich Critique (good feedback, bad feedback, good feedback. Get it? The bad is sandwiched by the good, so it doesn't hurt so bad!). Then I asked her if she needed more time to think. Hehe...she did. :) I need the tough feedback, so thanks, Mom (I know you're out there)!

Dang, I should have named this blog "Asides" or something like that. I just LOVE parentheses. I am making myself go back and remove every set of parentheses I can in my writing, because most of the time I don't even need them. The cheese can stand alone. They're just so much fun, though, and it's writing exactly like my mind is speaking. See, there are others in there.

S'winnyway...I need the tough as well as the adoration my lovely girl children gave me this evening. They are so sweet. I made them pinkie-promise to tell me the truth even if they thought it would hurt my feelings. I'm convinced now they're really good liars. :) Emilie gave me an 8 out of 10 on a scale of comparing to other books she reads. I asked her how I could improve and make it a 10. She gave me two things:

1) Use the right names for my characters. Haha. I kept switching the names of two of the girls in one scene, and I re-named another girl that shows up at the end of both the first and third chapters. I sat in on Emilie reading the last bit out loud to Kristen when I went to tuck them in, and Emilie very obnoxiously said the correct name loudly and slowly each time she read one or the other.

2) Change the words she circled to words she knows. There were only two or three, so that made me happy. Formica, tenure, and hmm...can't remember the others just now.

So, we were sitting at the dinner table earlier after they had read the first part. My 17-year-old son walked in right about then from music practice, right as Emilie was giving her synopsis of the book thus far:

"She's got a jacked-up hairdo and her dad needs HELP."

I was pretty pleased with that. It about summed it up. I think I'll keep that for the cover blurb.

:)

9,406

Dang! 36 hours later and I'm up to 9,406--58 more! I'm cruising.

Hehe. I edited last night and I've heard that's what happens. You go to eliminate words, and do, and it ends up longer. How does that work?! It must be magic.

Happy rainy Thursday...indeed a perfect day for sleeping, reading, and writing. Oh, wait, I have to work, too. And do laundry. Dang...

I've talked my way from Dang! to Dang...

;)

9,348

That is the number of words sitting in a file on my computer after I worked hard on my new project for three hours today. That, my friends, is nearly 1/4 of the approximate size this manuscript should be when it is complete. I am sure that those 9,348 words will shrink some once I go back and edit and rewrite, but I am so prouda me!

I got to the point with it...guess I'll just start calling it Trading Faces, because that is my tentative name...that I am ready to print it out and let the girls have a go at it. That'll be interesting! I think I'm going to have Emilie read it out loud to Kristen and arm Emilie with a pencil to circle any word she's not familiar with or doesn't understand in the context. K may be a little young for some of the vocabulary, but should get the story overall. Emilie has a pretty advanced vocabulary and reading level for her age. So betwixt the two of them...
Maybe the second time through, I'll have her circle any words Kristen doesn't get, just to see if the level falls somewhere in between their ages, which is what I'm shooting for.
Wow. I just confused myself. I'm sure I confused you as well. :)

I'm done a little homework, and I think the genre/target audience for this book is probably called either "middle grade" or "tween" fiction, depending on who you ask.

That's all folks. Just wanted to do a little happy dance. ;)

Darn job

You'd think that I'd get to spend a whole lot of time on a holiday weekend either having fun with the kids or writing, but it didn't seem to work that way! Note the time. I just finished up seven hours of work for my "real job" that I hoped to do Friday, but didn't get the material until last night and tonight. Worked about three hours last night on it (Saturday).

Saturday during the day, I took pity on Todd and attempted to clean out my corner of the bedroom, where I tend to let stuff (mainly papers, books, and dust) pile up until it's all toppling over. We have a couple of book shelves, some short file cabinets, and a small writing desk under the window that I use as my office base now, but it was slowly being taken over with junk. So, I spent about four hours sorting, throwing away, dusting, and re-shelving. Believe it or not, I only made it about 75% through the mess. I have about 3 shelves to go on the second one, and one more box of junk, and everyone will be much happier with me again. I hadn't gone through all my school stuff since I graduated last summer, so am trying to decide what to keep, what to throw away, and how to store it.

I ended filling a big canvas-covered file box that I bought last fall with books I have bought or been given, but haven't read yet. Some may consider this odd (having so many unread) and some may consider this odd (having so few unread). For me, it's the "so many." I usually am just two or three books behind what I want to have read, but got lots of books for Christmas, bought several at the writers' conference a few weekends ago, and got a Half Price Books gift card at Christmas, which I had to spend right away, so I'm flush. At least now I know where I stand, and have no excuse for buying more books for a long time...unless they are really special or a deal I can't pass up!

In the meantime, I have done only a little more writing, but I have been faithful to the index card and pen everywhere system and made a lot more notes for the new project and got all kinds of things worked out. The shower thing seems to keep working. Good thing I don't write horror, or I'd be creeped out all the time. ;) Anyway, I think that I have a whole lot worked out for this book and it should be relatively easy to write!

I found something else that really seems to help with the writing. I open up my document and just start writing the details in a narrative form, without dialogue or worrying about the order it goes in, or many of the descriptive or "pretty" details. Then I go back and write above it, following that, but re-arranging and adding dialogue and other good stuff. That way, I don't forget the stuff before I get it written down, but am not so bogged in trying to "get it right" at the same time! Pretty cool and it works. It's kind of between being an outline (which I have started using, too), only above it, with the "good stuff" above that. Kind of a three-layer deal. And kind of like first-grade writing, if you ask me.

The girl went to the place and saw the guy who told her that she was crazy and she believed him and committed herself to an insane asylum where she met her long-lost brother who was there because he believed he was one of Santa's elves and tried to get a promotion to Santa but Santa didn't like that so he fired him and then he went crazy and ended up there.

See how it works? I promise that is not an excerpt from the real project. It was just my stream of consciousness speaking to me at 2:30 in the morning.

Somethin' about April Showers?

I've decided that any time I have writer's block, I just need to hop in the shower. I took another late shower yesterday (thought I was going to go walking in the afternoon, so waited, then though I was going to go in the early evening, so waited, then thought I was going to go in the late evening, so waited...finally took one around 9:30 p.m. Eeww.), and got another chunk of inspiration for this new thing I'm working on. I think it's the fact that I'm a captive audience to my own mind while I'm in there. Which, as I've mentioned lately, is not always a small group of actors.

I had promised myself yesterday that if I put in a full six hours of paying work, then I'd allow myself a few hours to write in the evening. I ended up spending about 4 1/2 working on the new manuscript. That translates into about eight new pages, but also a lot of other scribblings about the next chapters, etc.

I feel pretty good about where this is going. I ate lunch with my writing buddies Wednesday and they thought it sounded like a fun story. Either that, or they were just humoring me, which is okay sometimes, too. They also gave me some needed suggestions, which was great. I forgot to write them down on my index cards, though, so had to email them late last night (early this morning?) to see if they could remember any of them. :)

So, I'm up to almost 5,000 words so far and not stuck yet! Woo hoo! I think I'm going to print out the first few chapters soon and run them by the (little) girls, and email them to the (big...um, older...um, whatever) girls to get some feedback before I get too deep in the plot to change it!

Happy Easter! My girls will be dancing Sunday morning and bringing little tears to my eyes, I'm sure. :) I was supposed to "dance" with them. It was a mother/daughter thing, and I thought it was a really bad idea for me from the start, but didn't want to let the girls down, so I didn't get my guts together to admit it until last week's practice, when I basically had a meltdown and quit. Doesn't that sound fun? I have made lots of notes about that day and I think it might be a good short story. Maybe for public consumption, maybe not.

In other news...

...I started a young adult fiction book early this evening! I have never really had a strong desire to do so (however, no aversion either), but I was in the shower around 6:30 and the idea just started jumping me. As I mentioned in an earlier post, that just keeps happening. I thought it through a little and then hurried up and got out and got dressed (hopefully that’s not TMI!) so I could go write it all down before I forgot it.

I have no idea what will come of it, but I decided recently I need to be open to writing different kinds of things and not fixating on the “serious novel” so much. I have been stuck in the same place in that one for a while (the infamous middle) and thought of some ways to move on today, but I might still step away from it for a bit and see where this takes me!

I ran the basic plot line and some of the details by my 8 and 12-year-old daughters at dinner tonight, and they seemed to think it sounded like a good story and said they would read it. My husband even chimed in with a last name for my main character because I knew it had to start with an “E” but couldn’t think of an appropriate one. Entwhistle it is! For today anyway. He said all he wants is credit at the beginning of the book. The girls, of course, demanded a dedication to the two of them, my children. I reminded them that they had an older brother and they said I could leave him out.

Just to give a little teaser, I thought of an initial title—“Trading Faces.” There is a recent post on Pub Rants that says to check for originality of titles. This one is not taken! Well, other than for a self-help book about why we act the way we act. I don’t think that would be considered a serious threat in this instance. EDIT: I did find one more book with that name, but it is in the "Christian service" category, so probably not a problem either. :)

In the words of himself (if you pay attention to me for very long, you’ll figure out who himself is, but I have vowed to refrain from saying his name for as long as I can stand it in this blog!): “I guess I'm wondering where this place is trying to take me, overnight, if I never did resist…”

Best Southwest Bookfest report

The writers festival was good. I got to hear and meet the two authors I mentioned in the previous post (Carlton Stowers and Shanna Swendson) and bought some of their books, which they graciously autographed for me. Shanna's book, Enchanted, Inc., is not really a category that I normally read, but it looks fun! It's chick lit and her description is "Harry Potter meets Sex in the City." My friend Gail will probably want to borrow it when I'm finished. It sounds right up her alley. I got one of Carlton Stowers true crime books that I had not read before--To the Last Breath.

Something funny happened. I managed to finagle a last minute ticket to the luncheon. When they opened the doors, I sat down at a fairly empty table. When people joined the table, they'd introduce themselves to me, and vice versa. A gentleman walked up and asked if he could sit at the spot next to me, and I said, "Sure, nobody there yet!" In my mind, I was thinking that I wasn't too excited about it because this man was obviously a heavy smoker who had probably just returned from a smoke outside. I was thinking my allergies weren't going to thank me for telling him the seat was vacant. After I got my box lunch and returned to the table, and he did the same, he stuck his hand out as I did. I said, "I'm Julie..." He said, "Carlton Stowers." I nearly laughed out loud, but managed to say something idiotic instead like, "I know who you are! I've read some of your books and really enjoyed them! Don't you love coming to these things where everyone knows who you are?" Then, I was thinking, "Hmm, that was kind of rude...implying that nobody would know who he was anywhere else." Oops. But, he graciously continued the conversation, telling me how he never turned down events where there was free food and I asked if that was a writer's secret to stretching the budget. He said, "Oh, yes, definitely!"

Anyway, he was fun and I enjoyed listening to him later in the afternoon as he talked about his latest book, Where Dreams Die Hard: A Small American Town and Its Six-Man Football Team. He said he wrote it after 9/11 when he had to take a step back from true crime to write something uplifting and less depressing.

One of my favorite sessions was by W.C. Jameson, who does all kinds of things in addition to being a writer. He's a singer/songwriter and also apparently leads treasure hunting expeditions (people do that in real life?) and was an advisor for the movie National Treasure. His session was about the "10 Keys to Becoming a Successful Writer." He said he compiled this list after years of hanging around with lots of writer friends and observing these characteristics in them again and again. He said not to feel hopeless, however, if there are any that don't describe you--that it's possible to develop some of them over time. Here's a brief look at these ten. I felt pretty good afterwards, because I can honestly say I possess most of these, at least in my mind. I'm sure some of them may need maturing, but it still felt good. I'll finish off tonight with the list.

1) Passion
2) Commitment (to writing, learning; devoting time and energy; strong work ethic)
3) Belief in one's self (and he specifically said this is one that may need to develop over time)
4) Patience (because the publishing world moves verrrry slowwwly!)
5) Strategy (a time and place to write, organization, philosophy)
6) Energy (excitement and joy about working in the field and being around other authors)
7) Understanding the publishing industry (staying informed; watching trends)
8) Attending and participating in writers' seminars and conferences
9) Talent and skill (but that having other charactertics may actually compensate for a "moderate amount of skill"!)
10) Reading the classics (This may be an area I have to work at it more. I'd rather read books like I want to write...I read so many classics in high school and college as an English major that I burned out pretty bad, but he said there is much to learn from the books that have stood the test of time. I did bring The House of Seven Gables home from Boston last fall, though, and have been reading it bit by bit. Does that count?)

Best Southwest

Tomorrow, I will travel all the way to Duncanville (a whopping 20 miles) early in the morning to attend the Best Southwest Bookfest. I got my first taste of this short conference last spring when I was doing my practicum for my master's degree at the UNT Dallas library and they sponsored it. It was a lot of fun! This year, there are several other things I could be doing tomorrow--going to the annual church Easter egg hunt with my girls, going to Emilie's volleyball game, going with Heather and Fabian and the girls to pick strawberries after the egg hunt. I struggled a little with the decision, but decided I needed to keep this commitment and go for several reasons.

First, several of those are rather domestic-sounding activities and I'm not so good at them. Heh. :-) Truly, I'd go if there wasn't this conflict! I'm a good mom, I'm just not always so good at the traditional "mom things." Oh, well. My kids think I'm okay, I think. And Heather, one of their "village moms" (you know, it takes a village...) is great at those things. We trade off...she does "mom things" with her little sisters, and I teach her 20-month-old Ian how to say "nostrils" while sticking his fingers up them when he's learning body parts.

Okay, so real first, it's free! Can't beat the price, especially considering the others I would like to go to in the near future are more like 200-300 each just for the registration fee. They are a lot more comprehensive and cater specifically to writers, while this is open to the public and there will be as many people who come just to listen to authors speak and get books signed as there are those going for the writing tips.

Second, some interesting folks will be there. Carlton Stowers, who wrote several well-known true-crime novels (such as Careless Whispers) will be there. A lady whose blog I have read a couple times lately (Shanna Swendson) will be there. I browsed to her blog because she is a client of an agent I've been eyeing for when I get that first novel completed.

Third, it'll just be a great opportunity to get some good info, be entertained, and maybe even see some of the people I used to work with at UNT Dallas or former classmates.

Fourth, and maybe most important for me--after attending last year, I was inspired to begin writing my first novel. I don't know if it'll be the first novel I actually complete, because I'm having some conflicts over what I really want my "voice" to be and whether it fits with that. I will finish it eventually, because I believe it's a great story and I'm nearly halfway through, but who knows, maybe I'll use a different pen name for it!

Anyway, within minutes of leaving the conference last year, where I got some really great ideas for doing so, the characters and basic plot began coming to me, and I was off and running pretty fast. It was so exciting for me to be in rooms filled with authors and people "like me" who were so turned on to writing and reading, I felt in a way I had come home. So, I think the Best Southwest Bookfest will probably hold a little sentimental spot in my heart for years to come.

Or at least until I get my first rejection notice. ;)

What's a writer to do when...

..."real life" takes over and she doesn't have time to write what she wants to? That has been the case today for the second day in a row. I worked 11 hours today for my main customer, was gone 2 1/2 hours for a church meeting, and have nothing left.

Thank goodness for short moments of inspiration such as I had this evening after church and before I got back to work, and thanks to Anne LaMotte (I can tell she's going to get lots of credit over the next few months in this blog!) for the index cards suggestion. New story forthcoming entitled, "The Queen Mother Holds Court on Her Royal Throne." I can only hint that it will include references to children, the bathroom, and the few moments I thought I'd have to myself tonight. I know, not-so-original situation, but hopefully it will be an original story!

Tomorrow's another day.

Paying work wins today

This was one of those long days where the work I am actually paid to do at this point took precedence over the writing I would prefer to do. Some days are just like that. Lots of days are just like that. I get to write and do research and edit for a living (as a consultant, so I have a little more control than I might as an employee), but it's just not as much fun as listening to the little voices in my head and writing their stories!

Oh, well. It's been a fairly productive, although extremely busy day even so.

An audience of me

In the last year, I have really gotten "serious" about my writing. Serious is such a bad word for this; it makes me feel very solemn and bitter-faced. Heh. It's really something I'm very happy about! It's gone from being a pipe dream of something I always wanted to do, to something I am so passionate about, it keeps me awake at night.

I have managed to write more than 100 pages of a novel (I'm not sure how many pages I'm up to now, so I'll leave it at that). I have submitted a short story/memoir to a contest. I don't honestly expect to hear anything back saying, "Wow! You are marvelous! You win!" but I am simply proud of myself that I made the commitment to do it and did. I have blogged on julielayne fairly consistently. I write on my computer, in my head, in the shower, on the potty (Todd prefers that I don't use a sharpie on the toilet lid, but…), in the car, and in my dreams. It's consuming.

This blog will be a little different than julielayne. Julielayne is my "just for fun" blog about whatever hits me, for friends and family who want to keep up with what's going on in my life. An audience of me will be all about writing--the daily journey I face as someone who wants to write more than almost anything in the world. I read a book by Anne Lamott recently called Bird by Bird. She made the statement that some people want to write and others want to be published. I would love to eventually be published, and I would be lying if I said differently, but I truly do have a passion about this sometimes annoying gift. It just won't leave me alone. In the words of my favorite musician, "I'm just minding my own business and metaphors start jumping me." Or something like that. I'm just minding my own business and ideas or metaphors or pictures that need describing just start jumping me.

I am calling this An audience of me because I am discovering that, in spite of all the wonderful writers' groups, conferences, and friends and family who support me, being a writer can be a really lonely thing. It's something you can't really do as a group. Sure, there are collaborative efforts in writing, but for the most part, it's finding the time to be alone (at least in my head) and as the old Nike commercial said, "Just do it."

So, today I was looking at some writer's conferences I want to attend, and shooting emails back and forth with my two writing buddies, and being a little bummed because neither can afford to go to a conference I am thinking of going to this summer in Austin. I do not fault them for this, because I've certainly been there, but I came to the realization that I am going to have to make the choice that I will have to do some of these things alone.

I am a person who is actually happy to be alone a lot of the time. I work from home without going crazy. I like wandering alone sometimes—window shopping, serious shopping, taking pictures, walking, etc. In fact, I really don't like groups for the most part. In my ideal world, I'm alone a lot, and have a few close friends or confidantes to hang out with or talk to. I love "date night" with my husband. I don’t do parties real well. Conferences involve parties and groups. What I don't like is being "alone" in a group of people. It would be great to have a familiar face going along, a familiar arm to hang onto when I am feeling vulnerable. I went to the SLA conference in Toronto last summer alone, other than having a roommate I knew from school for part of the week, and it was scary! I hear other writers make these comments frequently. Writers tend to be introverts, so the marketing side of writing can be hard. I know all this…I guess I am normal! Yippee!

So, I said all that to say this (and one of the things I have got to work on as a writer is brevity. Julie and brevity are rarely said in the same breath.)—An audience of me is going to be my little corner of the world where I talk to myself about writing whether anyone else is listening or not. I might include some writing that isn't necessarily about writing, but something I want to post just so I can see how it looks "out there." There are many characters running amok in my head that will be glad to listen (and maybe some that will even tell me to shut up when needed), but they are also me. I need to be content with writing what's on my mind and knowing that I might be the only one who ever reads it. If anyone else wants to drop in, feel free to pull up a seat, comment, or just look in the door and move on. I'm not trying to say, "It's all about me." (Well, it kind of is here. :) The point is that me has to be enough when you are a writer.

Welcome, Julie, and whoever else might listen, to An audience of me.