Some answers and more questions

The girls were being veddy, veddy quiet for a couple of weeks, but they suddenly got busy this week and the attic has been a flurry of activity. They told me about some things that happen after the yucky scene that's been eking it's way along for much too much time, and I've been handwriting a lot for a couple of days. Haven't had time to transcribe because I had a kid activity to go to today and . . . I had to go shopping. I also had to work some for my contract customer tonight, and will have to put in quite a few hours tomorrow on that, too. So, I'll be excited to see how my word count goes up the next time I get to transcribe.

I never wrote stuff by hand until I took the Girls in the Basement class this year. Suddenly, I'm finding I can focus better and at least get a scene started if I do it by hand, then transfer it to The Brain. My handwriting is SIMPLY HORRENDOUS, so I have to do it pretty fast or I forget what I wrote and can't read it. Heh. I knew I shoulda been a doctor. I think there's just much more distracting me on the computer than there used to be when I could write pages and pages at a stretch. You know, BLOGS and things.

Something interesting we are talking about in my voice class this week (Barbara Samuel's online class). We are getting down to the last few weeks and one of the questions she asked today is (something like) "What question is it you're trying to answer in your writing?" In other words, what motivates you to write most everything you write--what question is answered when you get to the end of every book you write?

I think I know my big question, and it's been apparent in each of the adult manuscripts I've worked on so far, but I want to narrow it down a little more. More or less, I'm writing stories that ask the big question, "How far do you go for the people you love?" As a subset, "When do you let go, and when do you hang on, and HOW do you hang on, no matter where it takes you?"

But, what makes it more personal? What about my questions and how I answer them will stand out from the rest of the authors I perceive are trying to answer the same question? (People like Jodi Picoult, Jacqueline Mitchard, Alice Hoffman, and others.)

I will be thinking about this.

PASSed out

Just because my word count increased does NOT mean I got that scene written...hehe!! I used a method I found in Diane Chamberlain's blog once. The "PASS" method. If you get stuck (as I am on trying to type this word. I've typed stufk and stukc so far), you simply type or write "PASS" in that spot on your manuscript, highlight it, and go on. GET MOVING. Come back later. Auf weidersehn, baby.

So, yeah, that's what I did! I think I'll be able to revisit it soon, but there was another scene burning a hole in my brain when I was trying to sleep, so I got started on it instead.

In the meantime, I also decided to allow a highly trusted friend to be a prototype reader for this first quarter of my first draft. I have been undecided about whether or not to do that with this MS because lots of authors advise against it. Apparentely, it can derail you if the person who reads it hates it or sends you in another direction. But, I knew I could trust "My Gail." (Thanks, Oprah and Melinda Doolittle for that.) She has the miraculous qualities of being the perfect cheerleader for such a task. She gave me some teeny tiny things to work on as I go, lots of positive feedback, then gave me a thumbs up and a "Proceed" sign. She's read my other two manuscripts in the past, and I knew I could count on her to be just what the doctor ordered.

This one will definitely stay out of a critique group until I've finished my first draft. I loved participating in the group I was in for the middle grade manuscript, don't get me wrong, but I've decided it slowed me down a little from finishing that first draft because I was too worried about making revisions as I went from the critique group's advice. Good advice, yet still not the right timing.

Tomorrow, I owe LOTH another 1,000 words.

Avoiding the unpleasant

It's been a pretty good week to be a writer. My time and schedule seem to have normalized somewhat, finally, after being sick twice and helping a friend through a crisis in the last few weeks.

I'm attempting to turn my body's natural clock on it's ear, and although a struggle, it's not been too bad. I'm a night owl in the extreme, but decided as part of my "new life" I wanted to try to write, workout, and get other stuff done during the day as much as possible instead of in the wee hours of the morning as I've done in the past. (Well, obviously the Y's not open during the wee hours, so the workout was not really a transition!)

Two out of three completed days this week so far, I've succeeded. I've had two productive afternoons of writing after getting to sleep earlier the night before, and have gotten some stuff done around the house I would normally postpone for the weekend. I did write until early in the morning Monday night, but mainly because I had some assignments for my class (Barbara Samuel's voice class) that I hadn't been able to finish over the holiday weekend, and needed to post that night.

My word count on LOTH is creeping up slowly. I'm in a difficult part of the story, and I think that's one reason I'm moving like I'm swimming through molasses. I'm as resistant to the scenes as my characters are, but they've gotta happen. In the meantime, time is standing nearly still for them, and perhaps that's how it would be if it were real life. Interesting psychology there.

There have been other scenes that were unpleasant to write in this and older manuscripts. I noticed I put them off and put them off, but once I started, the stuff just poured out of me like a stomach virus. (I'll leave the rest of that metaphor to your imagination.) They were very emotional scenes, and it was easy to get caught up in the drama once I got over my initial revulsion to putting fingers to the keys. But this one, not so emotional, not happening so fast...just plodding through some bad, drawn-out stuff, like a season of yuck in real life.

If you're a writer, have you experienced this? Are unpleasant scenes harder for you to write than happier ones? Do you avoid them like you'd avoid a bad ex-boyfriend? Or...do you relish them, head on, rubbing your hands together and cackling before you slap them down? (You must be sick, but I'd still like to hear about it.)

Happy Anniversary for An Audience of Me

Yep, it's been a whole freakin' year since I started this blog. Seems like forever...and a day. (Garsh, I love phrases that can have double meaning like that.) Here's a year in review for An Audience of Me, whether you want it or not:

April 2006: Started this here little blog with a long, drawn-out explanation of the title after deciding writing can be a lonely pursuit, and that the main audience I had to write for and please was me. Also created a banner with a photo of a very lovely poppy from my Toronto trip, if I do say so myself. Started my middle grade manuscript, Trading Faces, which eventually morped into something completely different. It was supposed to be a "break" from the serious stuff. Hehe.

May 2006:
Made my way up to 20K words in TF, pretty amazing, I thought! The Opal Mehta scandal broke in the writing world, furious on the tail of James Frey's escapades.

June 2006:
Worked TF on up to over 30K. Lost a little momentum, but this was pretty good! Started the short-lived "Lyric of the Day" thing...which morphed into the "Quote of the Day"...which eventually died. Participated in Blogging for Books with my Campho Phenique story. That was a blast. I wish B4B would come back to Faster than Kudzu. Read The Courage to Write and was awed and transformed.

July 2006:
The other voices in my head began to crowd out TF. I wanted desperately to finish this project, but realized that childrens' fiction was not where my heart truly wanted to dwell. TF still managed to crawl up over 40K! Wow! Longest thing I'd ever written! I passed the word count on my first ever long manuscript, which lies buried still at about 37K somewhere in a dusty little folder. Signed up for La Jolla Writer's Conference...best investment of my writing career yet. I've already signed up for this year. New writers, if you want to go to a small conference that is less expensive than the majority and where you will rub not only shoulders, but ears with well-known, successful writers and agents, run, don't walk to LJWC. I need a roommate, anyway. (If you are female, a non-stalker, and don't snore because I like to get a break from men who snore and stalkers when I go to this thing, you know. I love you, Toddy. Happy Anniversary to you, too!!!)

August 2006:
While TF crawled toward the home stretch, I also worked on a short story I really like. I am polishing it up and eventually this one will go out on submission when I find the right places to send it.

September 2006:
Saw Jodi Picoult speak live. Words can't describe this lady. Amazing. Sent sample pages of TF off to the LJWC. Joined my first critique group with the local SCBWI chapter.

October 2006:
Finished my first draft of TF. Went to the LJWC, promtply chopped my first draft of TF from about 225 pages (nearly 45K) down to about 75 (about 15K) in one one-hour workshop session after my read and critique with children's agent Laura Rennert. Trading Faces suddenly becomes Cassie Catastrophe...and since them, Callie Catastrophe. She's a flexible little lady.

November 2006:
Sketchy month for this blog...one really long post about the LJWC. I think I must have written another short story, because I talked about it in December!

December 2006:
Did my first short story submission since, um, COLLEGE...and got my first real rejection!!! I was so proud. Submitted a few other things I haven't ever heard back on. (Including a poem. What's up with that?) My brain started really going crazy with the women's/mainstream fiction manuscript idea that I'm working on now.

January 2006 through March: (I'm boring myself...you must be seriously bored, so let's cut to the chase.)
January and February were very slim months on this blog. I started my new manuscript, LOTH, and while it's been growing very slowly and organically (hehe...don't you love those words that make you look smart?), it's now around 21K. See that counter over there on the righthand toolbar?

I also started the Care and Feeding of the Girls in the Basement class online with Barbara Samuel, and my work there was much more important than anything I could have written here. If the LJWC is the best investment of conference dollars, this has got to be the best investment of online workshop dollars. Learning about how to take care of the Girls (and mine happen to live in an attic, not some creepy crawly basement) was seriously better than therapy, and I needed therapy at the time, so it ain't no lie. It helped me clarify my writing goals, and quite literally, changed my life. You can read about it, but basically it boils down to:

Seize the Day.
No Guts, No Glory, Go for it.
Just Do It.
If not now, when? If not me, who?

Ah, yes. It's been a very good year.

I know the whole point of this blog is for me to sound off about writing, whether anyone else ever clicks on the link to get here, but I'd love to hear from anyone who reads this blog--whether daily or occasionally. Leave me a comment (you can use the "anonymous" identity quite easily even if you don't use Blogger). Tell me Happy Anniversary! I'd like to know who you are. You'll go on my charter members list, and that's quite an honor, I'd say. One day, that might be worth something.

Please don't make me resort to leaving anonymous comments for myself. I'll cry. Even you, Dad. You can even use all caps. I don't care. ;-)

Whoever you are, thanks for reading, and maybe by this time next year I'll have a writing contract and you'll be able to say, "That Julie Layne person, I knew her when she was PRE-published, you know."

Or, you can leave me another comment saying, "Happy Anniversary...Keep on Keepin' on."